


Out of the Frying Pan

by saltylikecrait



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen, Humor, Might as well tag jedistormpilot, Not Canon Compliant, Parody, Scene Gone Wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:53:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23811874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltylikecrait/pseuds/saltylikecrait
Summary: Finn and Rey aren't happy to learn about Poe's last gig.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn/Rey
Comments: 7
Kudos: 24





	Out of the Frying Pan

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the Latin American _Rise of Skywalker_ translation for "Spice."

Poe wished he was anywhere but Kijimi. He would have given anything to not have to return to this world. In the past, all he ever experienced here was hand after hand of bad luck.

A lot had changed since he’d last been here, and not for the better.

The normally rambunctious and loud crowds were nowhere to be found. He pulled his hood farther over his head, not just to keep out the cold, but to keep the patrolling stormtroopers from recognizing his face.

The First Order was here, and with it, they held Kijimi in an iron grip of ruthless law.

Right in front of him, a stormtrooper wrestled away a child from her screaming mother, no doubt to do to her what they did to Finn years before. Poe glanced at his travel companions and watched as they froze in their steps, horrified to witness this.

If he had been younger, Poe might have tried to fight off the stormtroopers himself. Years of fighting the First Order taught him to pick his battles wisely. If they succeeded in their mission, the Resistance would not only be able to give this girl back to her family, but countless other children.

They turned into an alcove where C-3PO, BB-8, and the little droid named D-O waited for them. Finn and Rey huddled close, shivering.

“They’re everywhere.” Poe glanced as the stormtrooper patrol passed by. “We’ve gotta find another way around.”

“We should leave,” the nervous gold droid insisted.

Poe rolled his eyes, wishing they had left him on the ship instead. “Follow me.” He led them through the backstreets to avoid being spotted until they reached an alley. “All right, let’s head down this-"

He cut himself off when he felt the cold metal of a blaster muzzle pressed at his neck.

“I didn’t think you were stupid enough to come back here,” a voice, filtered through a helmet processor and all too familiar, said.

“You’d be surprised,” he retorted before he looked at the gold helmet of his former partner.

Ready to strike, Rey gripped her quarterstaff tightly. “Who’s this?” 

“This is Zorii,” he replied. “Zorii, this is Rey and Finn-"

“I could pull the trigger right now,” she warned. 

“I’ve seen you do worse.”

“For a lot less.” He voice was unwavering, but Poe saw hesitation in her fingers.

Pulling his hood down, he turned to face her. “Can we just talk about this?”

“I want to see you brains in the snow,” she growled.

Even if she was hesitating, Poe knew ticking her off more would only escalate the situation. He tried another approach. “Zorii, we can use your help.” He pointed to C-3PO. “We gotta crack this droid’s head open.”

The droid stared at Poe. “Pardon me!”

“We’re trying to find Babu Frik,” Poe continued.

“Babu only works for the crew,” Zorii replied. “That’s not you anymore.”

Rey’s eyebrows arched. “What crew?”

“Funny he didn’t mention it,” Zorii said. “His old job.”

Finn’s eyes widened. “You were a _spice runner?”_

Lowering her blaster, Zorii shook her head. “Why is that always the first conclusion people come to?” she mumbled. “Tell me, does this guy look like a spice runner to you?”

“Uh…” Finn droned, looking between the two.

Poe frowned. “You insult me. I wouldn’t smuggle spice. At least, not that kind of spice.”

His companions’ silence told him they didn’t understand. He sighed again and ran a hand down his face.

“Okay, let’s try this again. I’m the best pilot in the Resistance. It’s also possible I’m the best chef in the Resistance. Never had time to find out.”

“You always had a way with telling a Guajillo from an Aji Amarillo,” Zorii sighed. “Losing you was hard on us.” She walked around him, blaster still aimed at his head. “I’m still digging out of the hole you put me in when you left to join the cause.”

“Wait,” said Finn. “When you say _spice,_ you really mean… _cooking spices?”_

Poe and Zorii nodded their heads in unison.

Next to Finn, Rey was absolutely fuming. “So, let me get this straight. We’ve been living off of bland rations and meals that taste worse than sandy veg-bread, and all this time, we’ve had a cooking virtuoso standing next to us.”

Ashamed, Poe nodded.

Rey looked at Finn, who appeared equally pissed now. 

“And we’ve been in a jungle with all sorts of herbs and leaves growing around us and you didn’t once think to mention your last gig?”

“Umm…. Sorry?” Poe weakly offered.

The pair stared at each other again, communicating silently. They had a way with understanding each other with just a glance.

“I’m going back to the ship,” announced Rey.

“Right behind you,” Finn announced.

Poe’s eyes widened. “Wait, guys!”

“Poe Dameron, you lied to us and held out on us. We could have been eating like kings, but you conveniently forgot to mention your greatest skill.” Finn was reeling now.

Zorii lowered her weapon, obviously not expecting this. “You’re not… going to fight for him?”

Rey hissed. “You can have him. Unless he makes it up to us and cooks us a feast, he’s dead to me.”

As the humans walked back the way they came, mission suddenly forgotten, the droids stood awkwardly in the snow, not sure what to do.

Turning back to him, Zorii said, “Nice friends you’ve got there.”

“You don’t know half of it.”


End file.
